Auzzer is a place for updating what I'm working on and what I'm doing.
I will update this page every time I update my site and probably more often.
7/28/2021 - Added a new page about veganism!
7/20/2021 - That awkward time I spent WAY too much time making a 'shrine' to Neopet's Jelly World...
If you want to see what I've been working on over at Jelly World... having a blast recreating nostalgia.
7/12/2021 - Updated my site with pretty new color schemes for different pages- ooOoh!
Did some backend stuff- finally added a PHP script so I don't have to update my header and footer on EVERY page when I want to update.
I'm working on a few things for the site. Still need to make a vegan resources page. Have a few other fun things I'm looking into.
On a personal note- vacation was lovely. Spent two weeks back home and got to spend time with my family.
Also! My sister bought me a new microphone for recording! Hopefully this will make my songs better quality.
30 minutes before midnight, 6/30/2021 - I turn twenty-nine in 30 minutes.
I distinctly remember sitting in my bathtub blasting Greenday and crying because I was so afraid of what the future might bring. I wished to be a grown up already, I wished to have my life all planned out, and most importantly, I wished to be completely happy and without a care.
14 years later and I think we'd be proud.
I used to be afraid of the world- of the things I couldn't control. I used to have such extreme anxiety that I would have panic attacks in the middle of the night- my only solace being myself- talking to myself in the mirror was the only way I could calm down. Then I would be able to go to sleep.
I was afraid my parents and loved ones would burn up into a puff of smoke- never to be seen again; I was worried I would never find true love; I was worried that I would make all of the wrong decisions. In the end- I made a lot of decisions, and none of them could ever be considered 'the wrong one'.
What have I learned in my twenty-nine years of life? I learned that adults don't really know what they are doing- that the most successful adults just act like they have all the answers when they really don't. That's why Dad always said, "because I told you so", because he didn't actually have a reason for the decisions he came up with.
I learned that the system I've been born into has been cultivated to yield very specific outcomes- to prevent access to critical thinking- to ensure that people do not think for themselves. I also learned how to properly butter toast. I have no idea what it took so long- but Mom always made buttering toast look so much easier than it was for me. I always tore the bread or would somehow put too much. At twenty-nine, I can now butter toast.
I learned to love. I married a woman that I absolutely adore- that is the complete polar opposite of me. We never see eye-to-eye on anything, but at the end of the day we make the best of it. I don't want to sleep next to someone that thinks all of the same things as me- I've always wanted a woman that would tell me what she thought; a strong woman that made me feel safe. I found her. And when I found her- she had two amazingly gifted daughters. I scooped them up and raised them as if they were my own. I thought my life would be planned out- that I would marry someone just like me- that talked like me. We would settle down, be professionals, have kids later in life and grow old.
BOY WAS I WRONG
And that's the other thing I learned. If there is anything I've truly learned in these twenty-nine years, it's that life is messy. Messy in all of the best ways. It has sad days, and long days and difficult times and amazing times- and you never know which day will be coming around the bend, but the best part of all is that I've surrounded myself with people who love and support me in everything I do. My life is perfection- oh yeah, I'm in debt and may never be able to buy a house- but I've found love and support in the strangest of places. I've found home.
I turn 29 in 15 minutes now.
I'm not afraid of the life ahead anymore- I'm excited for it.
6/28/2021 - Vacation continues! But I'm still trying to get time to update my site!
Added a new page! the 'Links' Page! Right now it just has cool people's buttons from around the web, but eventually it will have much more!
I'm working on some other stuff today and will update as it gets done!
6/21/2021 - Been on vacation and having a great time seeing family!
Updated the front page to include a promo for my new song "THE HANGED MAN" which comes out June 25th.
I'm proud of this song- not only is the composition groovy, but the lyrics are metaphorical and have a deeper meaning for myself and my tangled relationship with technology and our reliance on the modern web. The Hanged Man does not hang because he has been punished, but because he has chosen to do so. Technology is a choice, yet we are also ignorant to the actual extent that the modern web does not reflect who we are, but we actually reflect who it wants us to be. So I hope you enjoy the song, Querent.
6/17/2021 - Proud to say I'm now part of the Yesterweb Webring!
Working on special song pages, vegan page, super secret thing...
I go back home in two days! So excited! I haven't seen my family back home since before the pandemic!
6/16/2021 - Finished a new song! Excited about this one! Maybe you can hear it early...
still working on something else super secret...